I think I will give this another shot...

So I started blogging a while ago but stopped because I gave up...I realized how I always read other peoples blogs because I feel updated on their life, so I thought I should give it another shot. I can't sleep also, so this is a good time! Its 1:24 am and I woke up wide awake...annoying!! I don't know why but its been happening a lot lately, I think its because I have a lot on my mind. I've been busy with full time work, full time school, Lane and working out, its strange that I've been feeling bored. Caroline says I will not die of bordom, but I question that some days! Lane is amazing as usual...she is smart, sweet and so full of life. She tells me things that make me laugh constantly. She does not understand why adults won't trick or treat, she says "Mommy I know you eat candy, why won't you trick or treat!" It's hard to explain to a four year old that it would be creapy if mommy went to the neighbors in a costume and said, "trick or treat!" So I just say that people don't like to give adults candy, were not as cute. I love my job, I got promoted a few months ago and I don't think there is anything else I would rather be doing. I really feel lucky to be so happy. I started to really run a lot more lately and slowly but surely I am starting to like it...I do not want to do the ironman like my parents, but I do like it! My little niece Hadley is four weeks away from being here and I have not been this excited since I had Lane. My sister Rebecca is so special to me and when she told me she was having this baby I screamed and then cried because I was so happy. I still tear up when I see ultrasound pictures of my niece, I cannot wait to meet her. Lane's not sure how we have pictures if she is still in Aunt Becca's tummy, she thinks it is a conspirecy and that Hadley is really here and she just hasn't met her! I'm not sure where time has gone...it doesn't seem long ago that Becca and I were lighting matches in the back yard as kids! Now we are Mom's and have lives. My Nana is in the hospital..she is my step Dad's Mom, but that makes no difference, she is my Nana. She has been loving Becca and I since my Mom met Hartley and she is amazing. One of the strongest women I have ever seen in my life. At 87 she is fighting cancer and if you had a conversation with her you would never know it. She is incredible to watch...the last time I was home Lane ran to her and she picked her up! I love her so much.
So there is an update.. I will keep posting this time..its good for me.

The Holidays!

Well it's been a while and I could be like those annoying people who you never hear from and they say, "oh I've been so busy." I always think that is crap. I am busy, I have a full time job, I go to school full time, I raise a three year old! The bottom line is, I am lazy. At least I am willing to admit it.

I just read my Mom's blog and she talked about my Aunt Sara, I miss her. She died 6 years ago from multiple sclerosis. My Aunt was one of those people who didn't say no, she helped everyone. She helped my Mom with Becca and I because she was working full time. She never forgot a birthday, in the 20 years that she was in my life, she sang happy birthday to me every year. I remember the first year I had my birthday without her, I missed it so much. I often think about what she would think of Lane, I know she would love her. I think she would laugh that Lane looks so much like me as a little girl. It's interesting the way life has worked out, God always takes care of me. Lane has her own "Aunt Sara," that is Amanda. I always think of the fact that Amanda helps me just the way my Aunt helped my Mom. Amanda reminds me of my Aunt, there is nothing that I can't ask her to help me with, whether it be with Lane or myself.

I am going to Denver to see my sister turn 30 in a week. That is such a trip! I swear that it is so hard to believe that we are adults. I remember being kids and all I wanted in life was to be Rebecca. It was funny, I did everything she did! Somewhere along the line I stopped copying her every move, I wish I hadn't life would have been a lot easier!

I am so grateful for 2007, I am also grateful it's over. I learned way to much this year and most of it was from making mistakes and trying to correct them. I am still single and I think I am learning to be ok with that. Lane is such an amazing little girl who never stops amazing me, she continues to make me smile every day. I am so lucky...

Married People...

I am not sure if it's just me but lately everyone is married! It doesn't help that the kids at work insisting on asking me all the time, "Miss Allison are you married?" I say, "No I'm not." They say, "Why not?" I feel like saying, "because I don't know where the hell to find a husband!" but their in the third grade so I usually just smile. Brett and I were talking tonight and it's really disgusting how many people are getting married. I feel like sending them a card that says, "The national divorce rate is 60%, Good Luck!" I know it's awful, I'm bitter.

I miss Lane she's been gone for a few days with her Dad and I want her to come home! It's amazing, I'm not sure what I did before I had her! I talked to her tonight and she said she wanted to talk but she was busy! I thought what could you be busy doing?! She is so cute.

The Little Mermaid....

Thanks to Amanda Lane has discovered The Little Mermaid. I have officially seen that movie at least 20 times in the last week! At first it was cute and I even liked that it kind of made me think about being a kid, I'm over it. There are however some very funny parts that Amanda and I continue to laugh at...one of them is when Ursala sings her song about "poor unfortunate souls!" The song starts,"I admit that in the past I've been a nasty, They weren't kidding when they called me...Well, a witch!" I don't know why but every time I hear that song I laugh, I guess I've felt that way from time to time! The really funny part about the whole thing is that Lane is now insisting that she does not have to wear her shirt because Ariel doesn't wear hers. It's starting to become a problem. She also wants to know why she has feet and Ariel doesn't, she wants to know if she can have the "fish parts" as she puts it. She seriously watches this movie as if it's the first time, every time!! She also insists that she is Ariel and I am the Sea Witch (when we play pretend). I told her I'm tired of being the Sea Witch and she doesn't care. The upshot is I need to buy another Disney movie before I lose my mind!

The surveys!

I went to Carefree, AZ this weekend to trade cars with my sister. Carefree had a street called Dynamite and Alex and I can't stop saying things are Dynamite! The town was cute, we went to a restaurant called the Horny Toad. It really wasn't bad except for the fact that when my Dad and sisters steaks were over cooked the manager tried to tell them that was what the chef said is medium rare and proceeded to ask them to order something else. Here is where the difference in my families personalities comes in! Now if this was me, my Mom, or Dan we would have let that guy have it I would have even thrown in some restaurant lingo from back in the day! If it was Becca, Heather, Hartley or Heidi they are polite and understanding and would give the guy the benefit of the doubt!

I love my new car it only costs $25 dollars to fill it up! I want to go to the gas station and put $5 in just because it will actually give me something! Thanks to my awesome family I am no longer plagued with the SUV!



So I got a myspace a little over a year ago and on there they have this thing called bulletins. People can post on these bulletins whatever they want and all their "friends" can see them. Every once in a great while I get sucked in to them. I did one today here it is:

1. When you want to have "you" time, what do you do?
I don't even remember what "you" time is!

2. Are you comfortable with answering personal questions?
Yes

3. Have you ever cried and didn't know why?
Oh yeah!

4. When is the last time you were truly happy with your life?
When I was 10 and hadn't gone through puberty yet

5. Have you ever found someone of your same sex sexy?
umm I guess

6. Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it?
I don't think so

7. What did you do at your lowest point in life?
Went to treatment (I do that really well!)

8. What brought you back from that?
I don't know I finally got some peace with that part of my life (and got a really good anti-depressant)

9. Have you ever envisioned your own wedding?
That is ridiculous, if a man spends more than one date with me I already have a location picked out!

10. When is the last time you personally made someone else cry?
This kid that is at my work talked back to me and I told him that was not okay and asked him for an apology and he started to cry (I felt awful!)

11. The last time you were kissed, where were you?
In a driveway

12. Do you have a guy in your life?
Yes

13. What part of your looks are you the most complimented on?
my hair

14. Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends?"
If you have kids together you better figure it out!

15. Would you attend each of your ex's funerals?
Yes

17. Would you be able to date someone who had a kid?
Absolutely!

18. When is the last time you were on a vacation?
This last weekend I went to Carefree, AZ!

19. Do you make your bed every day?
Ha Ha!

20. Are you too shy to tell people when you're developing feelings for them?
The word shy does not exist in my vocabulary!

21. Do you use the Internet or television more?
Internet

22. Have you ever worn black nail polish?
No

23. How much older than you is the oldest person you've kissed?
10 years

24. How much younger is the youngest?
Umm I think when I was 21 I made out with an 18 year old (I got a lot of shit for that!)

25. Which celebrity have you been compared to most?
DJ from Full House is the only celebrity I have been compared to

26. Do you have romantic feelings for anyone, and if so, do they know?
Yes and I'm pretty sure!

27. What are your plans for your future?
Finish school, raise my daughter to be a lady and hopefully convince some man to marry me!

28. Do you want to be in a relationship right now?
Yes

29. If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you?
I just want cheaper rent!

30. Have you ever done any acting on stage?
Yes

31. Do you like being in pictures?
Sometimes when it's a good angle

32. Do you cry easily?
Yes

33. Have you ever been more attracted to a significant other's sibling than them?
No

34. What is the last fun, free activity you did?
I went swimming

35. Do you enjoy romance?
Love it.

36. Do you tend to fall for people easily?
Yes

37. Have you spent more time in your life single, or in a relationship?
In a relationship

38. What person in your family are you the most like?
My sister and my Mom

39. Are you quick to start a fight?
Unfortunately yes

40. Have you ever put anything other than cheese in your grilled cheese?
Green Chili!

42. Do your parents really know YOU?
My parents seriously know me!

43. Have you ever felt invincible?
yes

44. How many cars have you owned?
Myself? 2

45. Do you get along well with your siblings?
Yes

46. Would you rather be cheated with or on?
on, I don't need the guilt!

47. Do you feel like you've got some growing up to do?
All the time!

48. Do you like to dress up?
Not really

50. Do you own a little black dress?
Yes

So I liked that one! If you read this you should fill it out and send it to me!

I'm not sure about my genetics!

It's funny, I can complain until I am blue in the face about what is wrong with me. The even funnier part of that is that I am rarely willing to do anything about it! Lately I've been reading my Mom and my sister's blogs and to tell you the truth, if we didn't look identical I would question whether I am a part of that family! They love to exercise, what the hell?! I hate it, I hate it more than anything. If someone said to me,"you can get the same results if I just punch you in the face," I would take an ass kicking! I am not sure how I got cheated on the, "I love exercise gene" but it's crap. I did however get the "I love sugar and crap gene!" Some girl at work the other day was saying, "I don't really even like sugar, I don't eat it!" I don't like her anymore.

I really miss my friend Brett lately. I am sure she hates me, I never call her back. It's not because I don't want to talk I just get so caught up with Lane, work and school! I remember in the 9th grade I informed her that she was my best friend, she said I was too. We've been through a lot in the last 10 years. Honestly she knows me. She knows when I'm full of shit and she gets me. She also thinks I'm funny, which automatically makes her special! I love that no matter how much time passes, we just pick right back up. I know she will tell my daughter stories about our crazy days, like the time I fell backwards off a bar stool at her Grandparents cabin, trying to be cool! (and don't worry Brett I can't wait for you to have kids!)

Something that bothers me..

I realized today that I find it extremely annoying when someone says to me "You just wait until your daughter is 14!" Okay just for everyones information, I remember being 14, 15 and 16 and yes if there is karma, I'm screwed. I have an extremely smart and assertive little three year old. I am really tired of people assuming that she will be trouble, what if it means she will grow up to be a strong woman? She will probably give me grief, thats what teenagers do! I wish people understood that I feel like a failure when they say that. I decided that I will not feel that way anymore! The truth is I have always said what I thought, I am very assertive. It has worked for me and against me, but it is a part of who I am. I am excited to see what kind of woman Lane becomes, I know I will be proud, I already am. I don't know many three year olds who understand life the way she does. So the next time someone says to me, "You just wait until your daughter is 14," I will tell them, "I can't wait!" (and I will have a shit eating grin on my face!)